What the Rurouni Kenshin cast would NEVER say
by KenshinLuver263
Summary: A scene of the Kenshin cast saying things, well, that they’d NEVER say! It's hilarious, please read & review! NEW: Chapter 2!
1. Chapter 1

"What the Rurouni Kenshin cast would NEVER say"  
  
A scene of the Kenshin cast saying things, well, that they'd NEVER say! It's hilarious, please read & review!   
  
Rated PG-13 for swearing.

Yahiko: Kaoru…you're the most beautiful person I've ever met…  
  
Kenshin: Fuck off! She's mine!  
  
Kaoru: It's okay Kenshin, I've wanted to tell you, but never got the chance…oh screw it, I love Yahiko!  
  
_Sano runs in with his favorite "Kiss the Cook" apron on  
_  
Sano: Oh my Gosh! This is so totally like a soap opera I watched last week!  
  
_Sano runs back into the kitchen and grabs a bottle of sake_  
  
Sano: Here every one lets have some sake for the new love birds!  
  
_Walks over to Hiko laying on the couch watching foot ball  
_  
Hiko: Uhh…no thanks, I don't feel like any.  
  
Kenshin: YES! More for me!  
  
_Kenshin grabs the sake from Sano's hands and chugs the bottle_  
  
Kenshin: Damn! That's good stuff!  
  
_Letting out a HUGE burp and wiping his chin with the sleeve of his kimono  
_  
Sano: Ugh! Don't you have any manners!  
  
_Grabbing a cloth from the kitchen and wiping the rest of the sake from the floor underneath Kenshin_  
  
Sano: GASP!  
  
_Walking back into the kitchen seeing Kaoru and Yahiko kissing by the sink_  
  
Kaoru: What the fuck's wrong with you?  
  
Yahiko: It's okay Kaoru, he must be stunned by your beauty.  
  
_Sano hugs his apron and spins around merrily_  
  
Sano: Isn't this romantic!  
  
_Kenshin walks in_  
  
Kenshin: What the fuck!? Kaoru I'll save you!!!  
  
_Kenshin picks up Yahiko by the collar of his kimono and starts beat the hell out of him  
_  
Kaoru: Noooooo!!!  
  
_Aoshi comes out of no where to stumble upon the scene_   
  
Aoshi: Oro?  
  
_Sano starts to run around in a circle franticly_  
  
Sano: Oh dear me! Some one help please!  
  
Aoshi: Now, now, no fighting please! Remember strength doesn't matter! Now let's take this time to admire my new trench coat!  
  
_Aoshi spins around the room showing off his new coat_  
  
Sano: My hero!  
  
Kenshin: OoOoOoh…what a nice fabric!  
  
_Sano and Kenshin rub the soft sleeves of his coat_  
  
Kaoru: Fuck you guys! Why don't _I_ get a coat like that!?  
  
_Crossing her arms angrily_  
  
Yahiko: It's alright Kaoru, I'll buy one once we finnish this wonderful meal you cooked up for us!  
  
_A table filled with all sorts of food pops our of no where and everyone sits down  
_  
Yahiko: Wow! This is wonderful! But not as wonderful as you are Kaoru.  
  
Kaoru: Oh no, no, stop it.  
  
_Blushing_  
  
Kenshin: Hey Yahiko, can you pass over the _mash_ potatoes?  
  
_Glaring over at Yahiko_  
  
Yahiko: Why of course, but let me _mash_ them for you.  
  
_Yahiko grabs the bowl and fiercely starts to squish the potatoes_  
  
Aoshi: Oh, oh! Are we going to play _Mash_?! I wanna pick the hubbies!  
  
_Both Yahiko and Kenshin glare over at Aoshi_  
  
Sano: Ahh! I can't take it anymore! Can't we all just get along!  
  
_Runs off crying holding up his apron up to his face and runs himself into a wall.  
_  
Kenshin: Well that ends that.  
  
Yahiko: Yup.  
  
_Hiko walks in following the smell of the food carrying a bottle or fresh squeezed lemonade_  
  
Hiko: What did I miss?

Well I hope you all liked it! It was really fun to write! Don't forget to review! Thanks 


	2. The Kenshin Cast goes to the movies, thi...

"What the Rurouni Kenshin cast would NEVER say" Chapter. 2  
  
The Kenshin cast goes to the movies, this is bound to not turn out well!  
  
Rated PG-13 for swearing  
  
_Kenshin, Kaoru, Sano, and Yahiko are all in the car going to the movies._  
  
Sano: I just don't know which movie we should go see! Shishio Returns part 2, OR Story Time with Shishio!?  
  
_Rustiling the papers in the back of the car_  
  
Kenshin: You've been driving around this parking lot for about 30 minutes! For God's sake pick a damn movie!!!  
  
Sano: Well, excuse me! Picking a movie we are going to sit in for about an hour IS a big discision!  
  
_Yahiko playing with Kaoru's hair and kissing her hands_  
  
Kaoru: Hehehehe, Yahiko your so cute!  
  
_Kenshin looks over at Kaoru and Yahiko and rolls his eyes_  
  
Kenshin: Please Sano, PLEASE pick a God damn parking spot! I NEED to get out of this fucking car!!!  
  
Sano: Fine, fine, well go see Shishio Returns part 2!  
  
_Sano quickly turns into an extremely small parking spot, squeezing in between to huge SUV's  
_  
Kenshin: Great job Sano, now my fucking car is RUINED!  
  
Kaoru: Shut the fuck up Kenshin, you have a sun roof we can get though.  
  
_All four of them fit though the sun roof and walk to get inline to see the movie. Kenshin still cursing about his car_  
  
Sano: Umm...four tickets to go see Shishio Returns part 2 please.  
  
_Looking inside the window seeing the guy at the register sticking his head inside a popcorn bowl_  
  
Sano: Ummm...hello...?  
  
Saitou: Huh, what?  
  
_Sticking his head out of the popcorn_  
  
Kenshin: Saitou!? What a fucking loser! Running a register at the movies!? (Damn I wanted that job)  
  
Saitou: Hey it's a summer job okay please don't tell my parents. But you get all the free popcorn you want!  
  
_Sticking his head inside the popcorn bowl again munching away_  
  
Kaoru: Can we just have the fucking tickets!?  
  
Saitou: Oh yeah, here ya go.  
  
_Handing them their tickets with his head still lodged in the popcorn bowl_  
  
Sano: Oh oh our movie's over here! Let's go every one! Yay!!  
  
_Skipping over to the door  
_  
Yahiko: Lady's first.  
  
_Bowing in front of Kaoru letting her by_  
  
Kaoru: Hehehe, why thank you  
  
Kenshin: Heh heh heh, why thank you  
  
_Mocking Kaoru  
_  
Kaoru: Shut the fuck up Kenshin!  
  
_Yahiko goes over and holds Kaoru's hand_  
  
_Everyone sits down, Yahiko next to Kaoru, and Kenshin next to Sano._  
  
Kenshin: Tell me again how the hell I got stuck with you?  
  
Sano: Cause Yahiko and Kaoru had to sit together. And you can't blame them, aren't they adorable!?  
  
_Looking over at Kaoru laying on Yahiko's shoulder_  
  
Kenshin: Yeah, uh-huh, adorable...  
  
_Almost gagging  
_  
Sano: Oh Oh, it's starting!  
  
_Clapping his hands merrily  
_  
-_Around half-way in the middle of the movie_-  
  
Cho: Hey...ummm...mister can you move over a little bit, your beautiful rooster head is blocking me view a bit.  
  
_Sano turns around gasping_  
  
Sano: Cho...is that you!?  
  
Cho: Sano?! Well hello there!  
  
Sano: Hi! I can't believe it oh my gosh I haven't seen you in forever! Wow! And you hair looks greater than ever! You still need to give me that hair mousse formula!  
  
Kenshin: Oh God, now look you got him started! He'll NEVER shut up!  
  
Crowd: SHHHHHHH!!!  
  
Sano: (whispering) Well soooooooooooooooorry! I'll just go sit up there with Cho! Hmph!  
  
_Crawling over Kenshin and Yahiko and Kaoru making out and goes and sits next to Cho_  
  
-_One hour later the movie is over_-  
  
Sano: Oh, my, God....that...was so .....sad!!!!!  
  
Kenshin: Oh really? I couldn't tell...  
  
_Whiping off the rest of Sano's wet tissues  
_  
Sano: Oh my, sorry Kenshin, I got a bit emotional.  
  
Kenshin: Hah, you could say that again.  
  
Sano: Oh my, sorry Kenshin, I got a bit emotional.  
  
Kenshin: Oh boy, nevermind....but hey you guys I got an idea.  
  
_Everyone crowds together infront of the door by Kenshin_  
  
Kenshin: How many want to see Story Time with Shishio?  
  
_Sano raises his hand up and down excitedly_  
  
Kenshin: Lemme rephrase that, how many want to see Story Time with Shishio...free?  
  
_Sano still raises his hand along with Yahiko and Kaoru   
_  
Kenshin: Well the showing is right over there, we can sneak by Saitou and go see it. It starts in 5 minutes  
  
Yahiko and Kaoru: Sounds good to me.  
  
Sano: Sounds like we're cheating Saitou.  
  
Kenshin: He'll never know now lets go.  
  
_All four of them creep by Saitou and are about to go into the theather when..._  
  
Aoshi: Hi guys!!!!  
  
Kenshin: Shh...shhh...Aoshi shut up.  
  
Aoshi: What are you guys seeing!?  
  
Kaoru: AOSHI SHUT UP!  
  
_Saitou walks over  
_  
Kenshin: Shit!  
  
Saitou: Hey Aoshi Sup!?  
  
Aoshi: Not much Saitou! You!  
  
Saitou: Nothin here!  
  
Saitou: Heyyy...what are you guys doing here?  
  
_Pointing over at the Kenshin gang_  
  
Kaoru: Uhhh...we're looking for the exit!  
  
Kenshin: Yeah! This place is like a God damn maze! Hahaha...hah...ha...  
  
Sano: Wahhhh! I can't take it! Kenshin wanted to see Story Time with Shishio and we all were going to see it cause its right across the hall and it was so tempting and it was for free! And they told me it was Two movies for Tuesday  
  
Kenshin: No we didn't, and it's Thursday  
  
Sano: Whatever! But I told them we would be cheating you out of money and and and....We're sorry!!!  
  
Saitou: Hmmm...I see...  
  
_Saitou kicks them all out of the movie theater and goes and watches Story Time with Shishio with Aoshi_  
  
Kenshin: Thanks Sano.....  
  
Sano: No problem! Im glad I got that off my chest!  
  
_Kenshin looks over at Sano with fire in his eyes  
_  
Kenshin: I.....was....JOKING!! AHHHHH!!!!!!  
  
_Runs over and starts to strangle Sano_  
  
Sano: Wahhh! Im sorry Im sorry!  
  
_Sobbing_   
  
Man: Hey! Leave thar poor innocent guy alone!  
  
_Both Kenshin and Sano look up to see Shishio flying above them with a cape and underwear on_  
  
Kenshin: What the fuck....what's with the underwear?????  
  
Shishio: I wanted to go with the superman theme, isn't it dazzleing!   
  
Sano: OOoOoh, I LOVE it!  
  
_Kenshin drops Sano and starts to rub his eyes_  
  
Kenshin: I think Im scarred for life...  
  
Sano: Thank You Wonder Shishio! Your the best!  
  
Shishio: No problem normal citizen! It's a job well done by... WONDER SHISHIO! AWAY!!!  
  
_Shishio flys up and gets his cape stuck on a lamp post and strangles himself_  
  
Kenshin: This is the LAST time Im EVER going to a movie!!  
  
Sano: Hah, you can say that again!  
  
I hope you all liked the second chapter! It's amazing what you can come up with at 1 in the morning haha! Please review and tell me what you think! Thanks! 


End file.
